TALES FROM THE RAPTURE: Earth Quakers

They had split off from the mainstream Friends churches some time ago and most, if not all, similarities between them had long ago disappeared. Though they still considered themselves "friends," it wasn't of some obscure deity, but friends of the Earth; Mother Earth, to be specific. One thing they held in common, by and large, was pacifism. While many now believed a more activist stance was now necessary, not all agreed. Most seem to believe that one day, Mother Earth herself would execute revenge on her enemies. Till then, they must educate as many as possible to live in harmony with her and, hence, the environment.

While most used bumper stickers that urged recycling, picking up litter, and using alternative methods of fuel and travel, some went a bit further with slogans like "Visualize Whirled Peas" (which some mistakenly took as a slam on the peace movement and others took as advocacy of vegetarianism), the Christian fish symbol with legs and "DARWIN" written within it, and "Earth is our Mother." It was once reported that a man had pulled up beside a car, obviously having just read the "Earth is our Mother" bumper sticker, and rolled down his window to say, "Yo, I spit on your mother!" then spat on the ground. "Such intolerance!" said some who heard this; but not to worry though, for Mother Earth would surely have the last laugh. She would avenge herself of those who used and abused her, killed her innocent creatures and ate them, or made clothes out of their pelts. Sure, they ate each other, as Christians had often pointed out, but clearly that wasn't normal. They must've learned it elsewhere, probably from people when they started hunting them. Their day was coming though, rest assured!

That long-awaited day finally came at last. A worldwide earthquake was immediately followed by the mass disappearance of Christians the world over; both living and dead! It was clear to anyone, with an ounce of environmental savvy, that Mother Earth had finally had enough! She had expelled those who had abused her throughout the centuries. Why even the living were not permitted to keep the clothes on their backs, since they had taken all the materials to make them from her. She didn't even want their dead befouling her soils!

Yes, they were all gone at last, along with other Quakers who hadn't seen the light or the error of their ways. Now, at last, they could build the world they'd always knew was possible, but for those fanatic Bible-thumpers who preached having dominion over Mother Earth, as they did with all females; even to the point of keeping her barefoot and pregnant! What kind of God did they believe in? Surely a loving God wouldn't condone violence against his creatures; and the goddess surely didn't! Why even the new World President agreed and had said as much. Yes, brighter and happier days were definitely here; now just one more little problem to deal with: those obstinate obstructions to peace in the Middle East--the Jews. . . .

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And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.

And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, and upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered.

Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things. Genesis 9:1-3 (KJV).

For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:

Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,

And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness. . . .

Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshippedand served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient. Romans 1:20-25, 28 (KJV).

For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night.

For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape. I Thessalonians 5:2-3 (KJV).

For the mystery of iniquity doth already work: only he who now letteth will let, until he be taken out of the way.

And then shall that Wicked be revealed, whom the Lord shall consume with the spirit of his mouth, and shall destroy with the brightness of his coming:
Even him, whose coming is after the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders,

And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved.

And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they shouold believe a lie:

That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness. II Thessalonians 2:7-12 (KJV).

Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship; for salvation is of the Jews. John 4:22 (KJV).